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Sex Toys & Self-Love

There’s a lot of talk around self-love these days, especially for women….

Women get together and advise each other on the importance of self-love, usually in the form of a nice hot bath, getting away from the kids, pouring up a glass of wine on the back porch, or ditching the alarm for some much needed hours of sleep. 

Rarely, when we talk about self-love, do we get literal.

Literal self-love is giving yourself love, and to ignore the sexual implications here is to miss the boat. A huge part of our love life centers around sex and pleasure. So why should our love life with ourselves be any different?

At the end of the day, we all are in at least one relationship: the one we have with ourselves. And yes, one avenue of that relationship is self-love in the form of pleasure, AKA self-touch. And this avenue can be highly trafficked even if we’re married or dating. We all are worthy of a regular self-love practice, which has the true potential to transform our lives. 

A healthy self-love practice means that you are allowed to get curious about the ways you can experience pleasure in your body — and by the way, there are many. The variety of sex toys out there speaks to all the different ways we can be pleased.

As we explore this romantic relationship we have with ourselves, we will discover that self-love and sex toys go hand-in-hand.  Experimentation with sex toys is a statement in itself, that our body is worthy of pleasure, partner or not. And it all starts with the willingness to get a little playful.

Your Self-Love Practice

While self-love might have entered the buzzword category, it can still feel like a foreign concept. Especially for us multi-tasking, professional and/or mothering women — to push pause and pay attention to ourselves might feel more like a joke. Perhaps you’re running on fumes, and the idea of loving on yourself sounds exhausting. We’re imploring you to consider here that self-love might actually give you the fuel, fulfillment, and joy that you’re missing.

There are a lot of ways to talk self-love, but for the purposes of this post, we mean self-touch. Touching ourselves. We don’t just mean a one-and-done little pick-me-up in the afternoon. We mean self-touch like making love with yourself. We mean lengthy indulgence. We mean stacking up the pleasure and, ecstasy, if you can get there. 

Because seriously, why not? You have this body, and the fact is that this female body is capable of feeling tons of pleasure, not limited to a single orgasm. Your pleasure may not be a current priority for whatever reason, but your self-love practice means that’s about to change.

It’s not greedy to love yourself and enjoy the potential of your body. If anything, it’s healthy. Self-touch increases both oxygen and blood flow to the brain. When you orgasm, your body is flooded with a feel-good, hormonal cocktail that decreases stress and increases, well, everything good. 

And in addition to the physical benefits, a regular self-love practice reminds you of your worth. That you deserve to stop the busyness for a second, to feel really good. That you are more than someone else’s sex object, but an individual with desires that can and should be met.

“a regular self-love practice reminds you of your worth”

Self-Love with Sex Toys

Certainly, you can embark on your self-love journey through what is most accessible, your own touch. But there are many reasons why bringing a sex toy or two into the mix will enhance your self-love practice. 

  1. Experience more pleasure. If our hands could vibrate, the world would be a different place. Sex toys are increasingly creative in the kinds of sensations we get to enjoy. From vibration to pulsation to rotation [links here?] — there are a lot of ways your body can receive pleasure via toys. Plus, many sex toys are designed to stimulate more than one pleasure point at a time. No such thing as too much pleasure.
  2. Sex toys represent indulgence. Using a sex toy is a sign that you’re willing to invest in your body’s pleasure. It’s like upgrading to first class, so you can relax and enjoy the ride. Sex toys are a gesture to your own self that you get to play and have fun, too. 
  3. Sex toys help you embrace sexuality. Despite the messages we often hear in society, vibrant sexuality is a part of the human experience. Sexuality is meant to be explored, and sex toys are all about exploring. They can be the mechanism to help you understand what you like, what you love, and what you could do without. This awareness naturally enhances your sexual experiences with others.

Self-Love Starts Here

Do you have a self-love practice? Is it something that seems exciting to you, or something that feels excessive or weird? 

To set aside a half-hour, or a full hour of time to nurture and please your body is not something the majority of women were taught. Perhaps the idea of pleasing yourself, sans partner, is a bit of a new beginning for you. So of course it might feel strange to begin this practice of self-love. The good news is that sex toys tend to feel so good, we get out of our minds and into our bodies pretty quickly.

Literal self-love is simple. All you really need is time and the intention to give a whirl, and maybe a sex toy [link] if you’ve been convinced. Allow yourself to set aside all of the stories and preconceptions that you have about self-touch or toys, and be open to the potential that you can satisfy yourself.

Once you get behind closed doors with yourself, remember that there are no rules. For many of us, our own body is still a territory largely unexplored. So take your time and learn how to love yourself. Let yourself experience the pleasure your body was made for. Jump on the self-love bandwagon, and let’s see what all the buzz is about.