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Find Your Inner Lillith Series
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Find Your Inner Lilith

Discovering Sensuality

At the heart of the Lilly story is a character of ancient folklore, Lilith — the original woman. According to the stories, after God created Adam out of the earth, he realized it was not healthy for man to live in solitude. So he created a partner for him, Lilith, out of the same earthly materials.

Shortly after their marriage, Adam and Lilith started fighting. While Adam saw himself as superior, Lilith considered herself equal to Adam. Adam said, “You lie beneath me.” Lilith said, “You lie beneath me! We are both equal, for both of us are from the earth.”

And if you’re sensing sexual implications here, you’re spot on. Lilith, an empowered, wild, independent, sensual woman refused to be submissive. Adam couldn’t see her as an equal, so Lilith fled the garden. Adam asked for a new, obedient wife, and God gave him Eve.

The story of Lilith is iconic of the progressive woman. Meaning, “the night,” Lilith represents the full and unrestrained freedom of a woman, particularly in the ways she has been socially repressed: independence and sexuality. Lilith is the voice of rebellion against institutions where man is decidedly superior, despite being made of the exact same materials. Lilith is the archetype that guides the modern woman forward.

In the Find Your Inner Lilith series, we explore the qualities of Lilith and how they pertain to the experience of being a woman today. Turns out, she’s more relevant than ever, as we learn how to lead fearlessly with our hearts, and enjoy our bodies.

“Lilith is the archetype that guides the modern woman forward”

Lilith and Sensuality

Lilith has various reputations, depending on the lineage and source. But across all traditions, we see Lilith associated with sensuality and sex.

Lilith symbolizes the transcendence of the patriarchy and its casting of women’s sexuality as something dark and evil. In the stories, when Lilith insists on being on top — Adam refuses that she have sexual authority. Somehow, according to his ideas it was improper for her to take the reigns on anything sexual.

Over time, Lilith became an example of what happens when you defy your husband — you get cast out of the garden, called a demon, and accused of killing children. For centuries, she was slandered to support the structure of patriarchy. And only now, as women are claiming their empowerment, do we see Lilith in her true, iconic light.

That she epitomizes the defiance of the patriarchy is actually why we view Lilith as a goddess, not a demon. Lilith, as the first woman, embraces her right to sexuality and embodies sensuality. She understood pleasure as a fundamental right to all who have a body, and we still have much to learn from her.

“Lilith, as the first woman, embraces her right to sexuality and embodies sensuality”

Sensuality Versus Sexuality

Sensuality is the full embrace of the body and its sensational nature, much of which is related to the experience of pleasure. It represents full presence to our senses and the information that flows through them. Sensuality is deep, authentic, and very feminine-energy.

Sexuality is the embrace of the body as it pertains to the act of sex. Whereas sensuality may not end in sex but is still pleasureful, sexuality regards the pleasure that comes from sexual acts and energy. Generally, we might consider sexuality as more masculine energy. (Though men and women have equal access to it.)

The archetype of Lilith is very much about embodiment – waking up to our senses and living fully aware of our bodies. We’ve all come across embodied women from time to time and can feel their total, almost infectious sensuality. To put it more simply, sensuality is feeling deeply comfortable in our own skin.

Learning from Lilith: Sensuality

Due to centuries of patriarchy, women have collectively become disconnected from their bodies. This is because (and as we observe in the Lilith story) women have long been taught that their own pleasure is sinful. We have been taught that the pleasure of our male counterparts is much more important — which leads to circumstances like the orgasm gap.

Lilith reminds us that embodiment is actually our natural state. She reminds us of how important it is to stand up for our own pleasure. If she was willing to be cast out of society over it, it’s probably something to prioritize.

Remember that in the story, Lilith recognizes both she and Adam are made equally from Earth. She knows that there is no natural reason why she should be submissive to him, at the expense of her sensuality. And this lesson is still incredibly relevant today.

Inviting in Sensuality

A study of Lilith is inevitably, from any perspective, a study of women’s sexuality and sensuality. So how can we, as modern women, practice what Lilith teaches about sensuality?

If Lilith were here to guide us, she would start by reminding us that our bodies are sacred. She would remind us about our ability and natural desire to feel pleasure, and make sure we understand that there’s nothing wrong with that. And she might give us a bit of homework, too… 

“Lilith reminds us that embodiment is actually our natural state”

Inviting in Sensuality

A study of Lilith is inevitably, from any perspective, a study of women’s sexuality and sensuality. So how can we, as modern women, practice what Lilith teaches about sensuality?

If Lilith were here to guide us, she would start by reminding us that our bodies are sacred. She would remind us about our ability and natural desire to feel pleasure, and make sure we understand that there’s nothing wrong with that. And she might give us a bit of homework, too… 

  1. Sensuality is housed by our five senses. An incredible way to amplify sensuality is to pay more attention to your senses and the information they’re taking in. Sensuality means pausing to really taste your favorite cup of tea. It means really listening to the voice of your lover, hearing their inflections and unique vibration. It means really seeing the details of the tree in your front yard.
  2. Sensuality requires us to be fully present. We can’t tend to our senses fully if our mind is darting in a hundred directions. It requires us to slow down. And as we start to become more awakened to our senses, something magical happens. We become awakened to our bodies.
  3. Practice sensuality in your own body by paying attention to sensations. Where can you feel your body? What do the sensations feel like? Are they static, or moving? What happens to your mind when you tend to your sensations? 

Notice how these practices have nothing to do with sex, directly. But if you’re waking up the awareness of your body to the regimens of daily life, does that translate into your intimate life? Of course! How could it not? 

The more you feel the sun on your skin, feel the softness of your coziest blanket, smell the early morning air — the more intensely you get to feel sexual pleasure. With sensuality, it’s all connected. You might have to try it to believe it, but something tells us you won’t mind giving it a shot.